Things You'll Regret in Your 30s

A thread appeared on reddit a couple of weeks ago, entitled 'For those of you 40 or above, what do you regret about your 30s?' Popsugar made a list of 11 out of the thread, which I thought was very good. I've no idea how they chose these 11 over the hundreds of comments, but there you go. I think these 11 are enough. I will, however, add a little anecdote. 

When I was in my early 20s, I worked at Starbucks. I loved the job but it was very much a temporary thing while I figured out what I wanted to do. The problem was, of course, that I had absolutley no idea what I wanted to do and I very often got panicky about it. It had been drummed into me from a very early age that you should know what you want to do. From the career talks we had at school when I was 13 (!) to GCSEs, A-levels and talking about university. It really scared me that I had no idea about it.

One typical morning, as I sat outside on my break enjoying a coffee and cigarette (there's a combination I miss), a regular asked if he could sit on the spare chair at my table. I said he could, and we began to chit-chat. We talked about Starbucks and London and life, and then he told me I seemed very happy here and it looked like I really enjoyed my work. I do, I told him, but it wasn't a job for life. He then asked me the question I dreaded but had really invited; what do you want to do? But I was honest, and said I had no idea, and that this scared me as I felt I should. Then he said something that had a huge impact on my view of things, and I'd even go as far to say my life. He said, "Don't worry. Don't even begin to worry about that until your mid-30s. Just don't worry." What struck me about this was that it was the complete opposite to everything I'd ever been told, and add the fact that this was a guy who I'd have pegged to be a broker or banker (I never did find out what he did), and there I was, dumbstruck. It might sound daft, but it opened a door. It let me not panic. It would come. I didn't have to have it all figured out at 21 years old. I was barely an adult. It would come. I wish I could somehow find him and tell him that I think of him often, and that he, as a regular in his local Starbucks had far more influence on a barista's life than he probably would ever guess.

But there you go. If you don't know what you want to be when you grow up, don't worry. You'll figure it out. Just don't worry.

The list below is directly copied from Popsugar.  

The shoulds

You'll feel societal pressures in your 30s more than ever before, but don't let the shoulds hold it back. You may constantly worry about how you should own a home, you should have kids, you should be married, or you should have a steady career. Drop all those expectations, and live life the way that makes you the happiest. Don't feel like a failure just because your life happens to deviate from the norm — you've got one life to live, so live it your way.

Not spending time with parents

One common regret that many people in their 30s have is not spending time with their parents while they are young enough to actively participate. Simple pleasures like taking a walk, traveling, or even having a conversation may be harder to come by once your parents age.

Putting work first

Something to keep in your mind in your 30s: if you put work first, you're going to regret it. Spend time with people you love, because those are precious moments that money and moving up the ladder can't beat.

Spending time on negativity

And you thought those negative people would disappear from your life in your 30s. Nope, there may be some hanging around, so don't waste time on them. Watch out for people who don't make you feel good about yourself, and reevaluate your relationships with them. Be careful of spending time on negative thoughts and issues that you have no control over. Just. Let. It. Go.

Thinking your 30s was old

"I'm too old for this!" may be a common phrase you use in your 30s. You know what? You're not. And I bet people in their 50s and 60s will agree. The world was your oyster in your 20s, and it still is. Take a chance, live, and enjoy life as the young'un you are, and never lose that child in you.

Not putting yourself first

Maybe you're putting everyone else first in your life but you. Snap out of it! Know that once you put yourself first, everything else can fall into place. Putting your needs first will make you a happy camper, which will result in better relationships — a win-win. When you take care of yourself, you'll have fewer regrets in your 30s. The partner your life revolved around? You probably won't regret that as much if you had focused on your needs and chased your dreams as well.

Not taking better care of your body

It's quite the paradox — you say you're too old for something, and yet you still keep the junk-food-fueled and antiexercise habits of the younger you. Those habits are harder to drop, but treat your body right early, or it'll catch up with you before you know it.

Not taking chances

Maybe you're overly cautious at this age and perhaps it's the shoulds we mentioned earlier that are holding you back. Don't play it safe, and live a little. Not saving and investing enough This seems to be a huge, huge regret that a lot of 30-year-olds carry. If you start saving earlier, you'll be reaping bigger rewards by the time you retire. And if you don't put off saving and investing in your 30s, you'll be more likely to retire at the age you want.

Not traveling enough

The world is at your fingertips, so take off on a travel adventure! Don't keep procrastinating and putting this off — it'll be harder to make time for travel as you get older.

Caring too much about what others think

It seems we're guilty of this at every age. Don't waste more time on this useless habit in your 30s. Stop investing time and energy into caring about what people who don't care about you think. The ones who do care for you will accept you as you are.

This picture has nothing to do with the article, but looks sort of deep and meaningful. And it's pretty.